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5 Questions to Ask to Increase Your Self-Worth

Pete felt angry.  He’d just been insulted by a friend, someone he valued and trusted.  What was he thinking saying that he thought Pete would not get that promotion?  How dare he?  He obviously didn’t know how good Pete was!  Pete played this insult over in his mind all day at work, all the way home and even over dinner with his family.  The words of this friend had really hit a nerve and Pete couldn’t figure out what he’d done to deserve it.  Surely his friend could see his value, all the great work he did, all that he’d achieved so far?

Pete fumed all night about the insult and woke up with it being his first thought.  As he drove to work, the dark clouds matched his dark mood and then, suddenly, he had a flash of clarity and the clouds parted…

After feeling all this anger Pete acknowledged that if he was truthful with himself, deep down he actually didn’t believe he deserved the promotion either.  Sure, on the surface he projected a confident, assured, sometimes even cocky, persona but underneath his self-talk was negative, full of doubt and insecurities.  He often felt he was riding a rollercoaster, some days he was up and some days down.  He could say the right words to the people he met, he was expert at putting on a confident mask at work but his feelings and confidence didn’t match what he said and now it seemed that people could see through his mask.

The more he thought about it, the clearer it became. “If I don’t think I deserve that promotion, then why should I expect anyone else to believe I can?”

People accept you at your own valuation of yourself.

If you don’t value yourself, why should anyone else?

Pete realised that if he wanted others to value him then he needed to value himself first.  He was living with an outdated, negative image of himself.  He could see he was letting previous experiences and situations cloud how he viewed himself  and he knew that if he wanted to progress then this had to change, fast.

It All Starts with You

The only belief that truly matters is the one you have of yourself.  Often we carry old images, beliefs and views of ourselves from years ago.  Give yourself a break and refresh this self-image.  Much like you wouldn’t run Windows 95 on your laptop, why would you run an old, underperforming image of yourself?

5 Questions to Increase Your Self-Worth

  1. What are the images your self-worth is based on?  How old are they?
  2. Who are you comparing yourself to and in what specific areas?  Is this comparison helping or hindering you?
  3. What does your internal dialogue sound like?  How can you change it from critic to supportive coach?
  4. What skills, strengths and achievements can you be proud to fully own?
  5. What does your ideal current self-image look, feel and sound like?

Improve the mental pictures of yourself.

The person you see yourself as is the person you will become.

Having an updated and healthy sense of your value and self-worth as a person will empower you to achieve all that you want to achieve…and more, in all aspects of your life.


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